Month: March 2018

As an active peer advocate in the New Mexico Behavioral Health Community over the last five years, I’ve learned there is one highly-sought commodity in our behavioral health community that is treasured over all others:

Any number of agencies, organizations, legislators, individuals, companies, etc. would love to get the “peer stamp of approval” for whatever product, project, or purpose they’re championing. Peer endorsement lends validity, credibility, and substance to behavioral health causes in a way no other type of endorsement can.

One way peer endorsement is achieved is through petitions. You’ve been handed a clipboard any number of times in any number of places. Heading in to vote. At the grocery store. At a sporting event. Someone knocking on your front door to ask you if “You’ve Heard the Good Word.”

The thing about petitions is the dude handing you the clipboard will give you a thirty second, rapid-fire spiel explaining what the petition is for and how you can help. It’s a thirty second sales pitch, and you’re asked to give your name in signature form at the end of that thirty seconds.

The pitch always sounds great. Sign this petition and you’ll be helping education. Sign this petition and you’ll be saying our community needs to be tough on crime. Sign this petition and you’ll be standing up to proclaim “NO WAY” to poachers who prey upon unborn gay whales.

But what can you learn in that thirty seconds that tells you exactly HOW your signature will be used? Who has access to your signature? Is the cause just or even real?

As a peer, your signature is worth its weight in gold-encrusted diamonds with a shiny platinum filling. Your signature says “I am a person living with mental health issues and I sign your petition because I believe what you say is just and true, and I want everyone to know you have my support.” Signing that petition is peer endorsement, and you’ve given it away for free with no consideration other than thirty seconds of explanatory sloganeering.

There are so many reasons for this. I’ve already detailed many of them. The most important reason for passing on petitions is just this:

Be sure of what you’re signing, and if you have only thirty seconds to decide, chances are the guy with the clipboard hasn’t earned your signature, your support, and your endorsement.

X__________________________________
Sign here to add your name to those who agree with everything I ever say without question! (just joking)

Reprinted courtesy of Steve Bringe at Steve’s Thoughtcrimes.

Knowing me as you do, one of my favorite bands in the entire history of ever is Madness. The Nutty Boys, the Camden Cowboys, the Magnificent 7 (and for reasons forthwith, fortunately minus one Cathal Smyth, aka Chas Smash, aka Carl Smyth), the patchwork of my youth into the not so youthful is tacked together with a square of Madness here and a worn piece of fabric there.

Back in 2012, Madness released a brand new album entitled “Oui Oui Si Si Ja Ja Da Da”, with the namesake lyric being baffling in its inclusion and inception, really. However……. never has Madness penned lyrics that reek of such blatant ignorance.

MISERY by MADNESS

Word and Music by Cathal Smyth

www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1J47BnR0bU

Misery loves company
That’s what the wise man said
Don’t come to me for sympathy
If you can’t raise your head
Stand up and see
What your life could be
If you wore a smile instead
If you keep misery as your company
Then you might as well be dead

Why don’t you go suck on a silver spoon
Buy a spaceship and fly over the moon
See the colours in the flowers and the tree’s
Take a lesson from the birds and the bee’s
Why don’t you go skipping out in the park
Give yourself a chance to make a new start
Try and focus on your health and your heart
Accept the present and let go of the past

Misery loves company
That’s what the wise man said
The remedy to be happy
Well it’s all inside your head
Shift infinitessimally your perception and see
Your life could be better led
Don’t keep misery as your company
Or you might as well be dead

Why don’t you go suck on a silver spoon
Buy a spaceship and fly over the moon
See the colours in the flowers and the tree’s
Take a lesson from the birds and the bee’s
Why don’t you go skipping out in the park
Give yourself a chance to make a new start
Try and focus on your health and your heart
Accept the present and let go of the past
Don’t come to me for sympathy
If you can’t raise your head
Stand up and see what your life could be
If you wore a smile instead
If you keep misery for company then you
Might as well be dead

I could go through a cornucopia of harmfully specific lyrics word for word. Instead, I am going to laser in on just four of the roughest with brutal peer analysis:

1. Don’t come to me for sympathy / If you can’t raise your head
2. Stand up and see / What your life could be / If you wore a smile instead
3. The remedy to be happy / Well it’s all inside your head
4. If you keep misery for company / Then you might as well be dead

Now, in better spirits, I would toss this off (ha!) as a mere purged rainbow, but because it is so disgustingly irresponsible, I’m calling this spitting venom.

Why? According to Mr. Smyth, it is a personal choice to suffer from depression, not a malfunctioning brain defined by specific mental health diagnoses. Just raise your head, smile, and accept that the reason you’re not happy is because you willingly stay depressed unaware of an on/off switch in your head. Please refer to my prior article that elegantly explains the true peer experience of debilitating, unavoidable depressive symptoms.

Because, yes, I haven’t tried willing my bipolar symptoms away by just smiling and deciding to be happy, I’ve not thought of this in the past three d3cades living with bipolar depression. I feel foolish and dull minded. Thank you, Chas, the wise man who said. I’ve been dealing with this off and on (the nature of cyclic bipolar) for coming on 30 years. Thank the stars above that you came along to steer the clinically depressed to paradise on earth. Bounce your lyrics off your contemporary Adam Ant (he’s true pals with your mutual friend Boz Boorer, if you need an introduction), see if he’s pleased with your pseudo-erudite take on a medical disease.

If it was as easy as saying “I’m not going to be depressed” there would be no depressed humans walking the globe.

What is hands-down the zenithic MOST IRRESPONSIBLE LYRIC IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF EVER in the realm of behavioral health is his “if/then” statement saying if you CHOOSE to have a mental illness and not CHOOSE to cheer up, then suicide is a valid option, to rid the world of peers who are so intellectually deficient they can’t pull themselves out of a crippling mental health crisis. Lyrical eugenics, courtesy of Mr. Cathal Smyth (formerly of Madness). Rid the world of mental illness through the grandest of uneducated simplicities.

Let me be very clear of my interpretation of Chas’ lyrics:

If you’re too stupid to realize that depression is a personal choice, then suicide is a dictated result..

And let me be very clear of my condemnation of Mr. Cathal Smyth:

Chas, we’ve chatted on several occasions, traded emails, and I’ve stated that your song “Victoria Gardens” is a gem of a song both lyrically and musically. But in this instance, bad boy, Chas. Very bad bad boy, and very very irresponsible.

Back in 1981, guitarist Christopher J. Foreman penned a tune called “Madness (Is All in the Mind)”, a fun ditty that pokes a backwards “V” for “vuck you” to those judgmental of differing behavior. Chris and I have spoken at length about this tune, in part because it is his favorite song from Madness that he authored, and in part because I revealed to him many years ago that I have bipolar disorder (to help him understand why it is that I disappear from the world for a year or two at a time… isolating, you see). Let’s see the comparative lyrics:

MADNESS (IS ALL IN THE MIND)

Words and Music by Christopher J. Foreman

I’ve never had much cause for worry
And I’ve not got a lot to say
You’ll never find me in a hurry
Because I live my life day by day
People say that I’m crazy
But I’m not that way inclined
I know what I know and I’ll happily show
That madness is all in the mind
Twenty-four hours is all that I care for
I believe that’s the only way
Twenty-four hours is all that is needed
Because I live my life day by day
People say that I’m crazy
But I’m not that way inclined
I know what I know and I’ll happily show
That madness is all in the mind
I’m happy the way that I do things
Continually feeling okay
I’ve no worries on what tomorrow brings
Because I live my life day by day
People say that I’m crazy
But I’m not that way inclined
I know what I know and I’ll happily show
That madness is all in the mind
Well some men seek answers in bottles
And others in degenerate ways
But I don’t care much for the question
Madness is all in the mind
Madness is all in the mind
Madness is all in the mind
Madness is all in the mind

Cheerful and encouraging lyrics, yes? Yes. Just be yourself. to hell with the critique and concern of others. I’ve always liked this message as a teen and moreso after bipolar symptoms manifested around 1986.

So why am I only commenting on this miserable song now, some four years gone? The reason is tied entirely to a lengthy depressive episode I’ve been contending with off and on (there are manic episodes as well) the last four years.

I didn’t want to listen to a new Madness album and not enjoy it.

That would be a sure sign of how cruddy I was really doing.

That would suck the mighty suck if my bipolar symptoms kept me from enjoying a Madness album. It would most likely trigger worse symptoms (I’ll talk about “Ted” another time), and I couldn’t risk it.

So, heading out to SoCal for Thanksgiving with my Dad, in the Toyota with Razzie, Slater, Bailey and Bennett, cruising through Death Valley, I finally felt the joy necessary to rip the plastic wrap off the CD and delve into a long-delayed jaunt with “Oui Oui Si Si Ja Ja Da Da”. I loved it, I felt joy, I shared my joy with my friends (including Nicky who wrote two songs on the album – Kitchen Floor and Leon – via Skype), and I’m glad I waited. Overjoyed I delayed. There is joy associated with the album. It only took four years to get there, a truly short span of time for someone who lives with the challenges and triumphs of bipolar disorder.

I feel joy… excluding the mirthful anger I feel with the song “Misery.”

Calling Dr. Smyth. Dr. Smyth, learned soul of everything and all psychological, please proceed to the “Ignorance Is Temporary” wing of the hospital. I’ll be waiting there with any number of peers who live with clinical depression by design, not by choice. We are prepared to educate. It’s not an inconvenience. Truly.

And please, Chas, pen a song where you deride people whose arms sponraneously fell off to just pick up their deparated arms, dust off their sleeves, and get on with their day.

Reprinted courtesy of Steve Bringe at Steve’s Thoughtcrimes.

Not being overtly irreverent . . . Is Stephen Hawking dependent on a motorized chair for locomotion and computerized voice for speech whilst moving to the Great Hereafter? It would suck if you take your maladies with you. I look forward to not having bipolar in the Great Hereafter, as well as reconnecting with my hamster Mex Tex.

Reprinted courtesy of Steve Bringe at Steve’s Thoughtcrimes.

Reprinted from Steve’s Thoughtcrimes by permission of the author Steve Bringe.

Today, I negotiated with the City of Albuquerque for DBSA support groups venues and a venue for our SUTS (Stand Up To Stigma) May Mental Health Education Fair.

I also wrote a letter declining a sizable donation after much consideration and board discussion. I wrote a letter thanking a prior support group venue for their hospitality and that we unfortunately are moving venues because of severe safety concerns, also after much consideration and board discussion. Neither of these letters were easy or a pleasure to compose.

I paid my bills, marveling at how much water can cost per unit and vowing this is the year I build a cistern for gardening. I contested a recent billing from my insurance company. I questioned an unknown fee on my phone account.

Recently, I endured a nine hour deposition in the Walgreens suit that did not include a lunch break. I then had to review the deposition transcript for any errors, another four hours of my life in a nearly 300 page transcript. This is difficult stuff, having to relive the trauma of being nailed in the back of the head by a huge sign at Walgreens (not my error, t’was theirs).

I’ve been grieving the loss of Clare, the idiocy of her family and friends, and recovering.

I’ve been vocal about my treatment concerning MHRAC and have learned people I once respected are documented liars. So there’s something else that self-empowerment dictates I care for.

Seems like a lot to juggle, yes? Seems odd that a peer can take on so much, yes? Why, I must be “high functioning”. That’s the term used for me, both in conversation and in medical records.

You should have seen me last year, in particular last August and September when I was paranoid out of my head that the police were going to break into my home and throw my arse in jail. For what? For nothing. I was paranoid because I had low potassium. Hypokalemia. I was hospitalized at Haven for that. And then I was hospitalized again at Pres because my hands and legs stopped working. Again, low potassium. Hypokalemia. Entirely unrelated to bipolar, by the by.

Was this “high functioning”? I have a solid command of the English and French languages. I get by pretty well with ASL. No false modesty, I’m really smart. I’m a very good public speaker. So I’ve been accused of being “high functioning.” How am I labeled when symptomatic? How am I when I cannot do any of the so impressive tasks that make me “high functioning”? Is there a medical category for “temporarily not high functioning”?

It’s an insulting turn of phrase, much like how I had to untrain Muggles at meetings from telling me “You’re so articulate FOR A PEER.” Yes? Well, you’re so ignorant for someone who works with peers daily.

There’s a commonality in saying to me “You are so articulate for a peer” and “You are so high functioning.”

I learned a lot from my Care Coordinator girlfriend, Clare Castellano (angel above), about the classification system used by Molina New Mexico for peers. It’s based on a tri-level system of NEEDS. When I’m at my best, I have no need for care coordination. When I got out of Pres and Haven, being on a walker, unable to drive, unable to cook, unable to get to my provider appointments and retrieve my medications from the pharmacy, having difficulty talking and concentrating, I was a HIGHER NEEDS peer, a Level 3 at that. Now, I have no needs for care coordination once more.

Did I change as a person when having Level 3 needs? Did I become “stupid”? Incompetent? Low functioning?

Nope. I was still Steve Bringe, and I was struggling, and I needed additional help. And I could still be in a place where I am struggling and needing additional help. Thankfully, I’m recovering and continue to noticeably recover both mentally and physically. I always ways and will forever be Steve Bringe. Other than for helping define treatment parameters and billing purposes, don’t box me in, baby baby.

Clare worked with Level 3 peers in the field (and was fucking excellent at her job from what her peers shared with me), and these were not stupid, incompetent people. They are people who need additional assistance to complete tasks. They just happen to have ailments like bipolar and schizophrenia. That’s on the behavioral health side of things.

On the physical health side of things, there is also Care Coordination. What’s the difference? None. Because Clare pointed out that Care Coordination is Care Coordination, and separating BH from PH is impossible in getting her “little members” all the assistance and services they need. Lacking a mental health diagnosis, the same attention to higher needs is offered and achieved.

I’m not blind to the fact some peers will most likely have higher needs for much longer than I did. However, these are not stupid people. These are people who need assistance with everyday living because of the way their mental illness affects them. Not because they are “low functioning.”

It’s the go to move to say “Would you say someone who needs help getting to dialysis or someone who needs physical therapy after a car accident or someone who is literally blind and can’t drive to the pharmacy is ‘low functioning’?” If you answer anything other than “no” then you are making excuses for playing into an embarrassing stigma. Embarrassing for you, not the peer.

While categorizing peers in terms of level of service needs is not ideal, it is also not euphemism, and it is very much practical and infinitely more honest than generalizing peers as “high functioning” and “low functioning”. Like EVERYONE on the planet, sometimes we need a little more help than other times. And just because I can out-lawyer the lawyers at behavioral health meetings doesn’t make me “a high functioning peer”. It makes me a person quicker and more logical than a lawyer I’m going toe to toe with.

Hey, maybe I am stupid. I just ended a sentence with a preposition. I’m sure there are some split infinitives in here, too. Sue me. I dare you.

– Dedicated to Clare Clarissa Nina Castellano who taught me much about Care Coordination and what it truly means to be a person who cares for PEOPLE.